Another social media warrior beckoned my attention.
“Now hear this,” he typed loudly. “For almost a year, I have been on a self-imposed lockdown.”
“Only leave my house for essential reasons, refuse to visit anyone and always wear PPE.”
“I am doing this for YOU! I am protecting YOU! I am putting YOUR needs ahead of my own. You should all do the same!”
Having considered his decree, I reached into my backpack for a concealed item and placed it at his feet.
“What is this?” he asked.
“It’s a cookie,” I answered, smiling through my mask. “You earned it.”
“Guess what, ladies,” the Bylaws Officer announced. “I’m charging you both under the Stay-at-home act.”
“For what?” asked Edina, looking at her sister, Natalie, in disbelief. “We’re outdoors in the middle of winter, distanced and wearing masks.”
“Not as simple as that,” the smug officer replied, while pulling out a tape measure. “You’re supposed to maintain a distance of two metres. You’re only 1.975 metres apart!”
“That’ll be $1000 per person,” he concluded, grinning through his mask.
“What do you think, Nat?” asked Edina.
“Sounds like bullshit,” replied Natalie, as she unleashed a snowball that struck its target head-on.
Standing on the wrong side of a bridge, a young man looked down at his cause of death.
He fearfully followed all the rules; never bending on any of them.
But the pandemic still ruined his life.
Lost his job because of it. Couldn’t see any family or friends because of it. Lost his desire to live because of it.
“Stop!” a passerby yelled out.
“Sorry,” he responded. “I’ve made my choice.”
“But it will be over soon!” the passerby screamed through her mask. “Things will get better!”
“The damage is irreversible,” he replied before leaping off into the abyss.
“I have something to say!” bellowed the Social Media Warrior.
“The numbers keep going up because of ungrateful pieces of shit who flood malls and host parties. They are vile!”
“I don’t like masks. I miss my friends and going out. But I am willing to sacrifice because I’m a team player.”
“To those who are selfish: Quit your whining! Wear a mask because it’s not about you!”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Grabbed a baseball bat and smashed everything: The phone, the echo chamber, the soapbox.
The Social Media Warrior was stunned.
“Not helping,” I hissed through my mask.
She held the knife up to her throat.
“I understand the struggle,” I calmly told her. “But there are better ways to deal with it.”
“Bullshit!” she yelled back. “Rather die than deal with it.”
“You don’t mean that,” I retorted. “It always existed.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “The pandemic killed me.”
“It’s not the pandemic,” I explained. “It’s the hysteria. Please fight it.”
I reached into my backpack for a concealed item and placed it at her feet.
“What is this?” she asked.
“It’s a cookie,” I answered. “You need it.”
She took a bite and dropped the knife.